


The Adventure of the Two Doctors

by maiden_aunt (SCFrankles)



Series: Evadne & Hilda's Holmesian Adventures [2]
Category: Dear Ladies, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Community: intoabar, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6676072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCFrankles/pseuds/maiden_aunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dame Hilda Bracket, with her friend and lifelong companion Dr. Evadne Hinge, is spending a few days in London. But when the two ladies become separated, Hilda meets an entirely different doctor altogether...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventure of the Two Doctors

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [A Ficathon Goes Into a Bar](http://intoabar.livejournal.com/), 2016.
> 
> Thank you to my sister for the beta, and for laughing so much. (At the correct bits.)
> 
> Hinge and Bracket were created by Patrick Fyffe and George Logan. _Dear Ladies_ was written by Fyffe and Logan, and Gyles Brandreth, and produced by the BBC.
> 
> Dr. Watson is the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
> 
> * * *

In the foyer of the Queens of the Theatre ladies’ club, Hilda and Evadne stood gazing out at the rain.

“Thank heavens I thought to pack my big umbrella,” said Hilda. “It’s pelting down.”

Evadne was buttoning up her macintosh. “It makes absolutely no difference to me. Once I get to the National Herbalist Library I shall be spending all day inside anyway.” 

Hilda turned to her. “Are you sure you won’t come and spend a couple of hours going round the shops with me? Have a bit of fun for once, dear!”

Evadne adjusted her thick, woolly scarf and frowned.

“Hilda, the whole point of these few days in London was for me to do some research. You were the one who insisted on tagging along.”

She checked her briefcase and looked up again.

“No, you go and enjoy yourself at the shops and then we’ll meet inside the library at, say, six? Find somewhere nice to have dinner together.”

Hilda smiled. “All right, dear. You’re on.”

 

 

They parted outside the club and Hilda took the tube to Oxford Circus. She then spent several blissful hours going round the shops, getting acquainted with the new trends.

“How lovely,” said Hilda to herself as she made her way round the maxi dresses in the ladies department in Selfridges. “I had no idea long dresses were back in fashion.”

After some consideration she managed to pick out three and headed to the fitting room.

She tried on the first two. The striped frock and the polka dot frock were both flattering in their own way, but once Hilda had put on the rose print… 

“Oh, yes!”

She examined her image in the fitting room mirror: the well-formed shoulders, the long, slightly puffed sleeves. She smiled in satisfaction. This was the one.

 

 

When she had completed her shopping Hilda returned to Queens of the Theatre to drop off all her purchases. And before she left, she couldn’t resist taking out her new dress to admire it one more time.

“Oh, why not..?”

Hilda cut off the tags and quickly slipped into the frock. And with one last pleased nod to her reflection, she started off for the National Herbalist Library. 

 

 

The rain still hadn’t let up. 

In the porch of the library, Hilda shook out her umbrella a little and rolled it up. She then entered the library proper and looked about. No sign of Evadne yet. Hilda checked her watch. It was just two or three minutes before six.

Hilda waited patiently for a few minutes and then took a turn round the ground floor. 

No Evadne.

Hilda made her way back towards the foyer of the library and continued to wait.

Another five minutes went past. Then ten. Then fifteen.

“Where on earth is she?” muttered Hilda to herself. “I can’t have missed her, can I?”

She went round the ground floor again and then went up to search the other floors of the library. The evening was wearing on and there weren’t many readers left but Evadne wasn’t amongst them.

Sighing, Hilda went down to the ground floor again.

But as she headed towards the entrance, part of a conversation caught her ear.

“A note you say..?”

“...just found it. Terrible handwriting… signature is ‘Doctor something’…”

“Oh, thank heavens!” Hilda hurried over to the counter where a male and a female librarian were talking, their heads bowed together over a small piece of paper.

“Excuse me!”

The librarians looked up in surprise as Hilda approached them.

She beamed at them in relief. “I’m so sorry, but did you say you’ve got a note from a Doctor?”

The female librarian furrowed her brow. “Yes, madam. We’ve just found it in—”

“Oh, splendid!” Hilda rested her hands on the counter. “What does it say?”

The librarians exchanged a bemused glance. 

The male librarian shrugged.

“Well…” The female librarian studied the piece of paper. “I _think_ it says: I will meet you in the Fighting Cocks public house, corner table at the back on the left.” 

“A public house..?” Hilda frowned. “I wonder what Evadne can be doing there.”

The female librarian looked up at Hilda. “Er, Evadne..?

“That’s my friend,” said Hilda. “Dr. Hinge.” 

She smiled at them both.

“Well, thank you very much. I really must see if I can catch up with her before she gets into any trouble.”

And Hilda left, muttering to herself as she went. 

“Really, Evadne. You could have waited for me. And a public house..!”

The male librarian stared after her. “Funny woman.”

The female librarian nodded. “If her friend wrote this note, then she’s been waiting at that pub a very long time…”

And she tucked the yellowed piece of paper back into the book that had just been donated to the library. A copy of _Herbal Remedies and Poisons_ —the Victorian first edition. 

 

 

It took Hilda quite a while to find the pub. After asking a policeman and three passers-by with no luck, she finally met an elderly man who thought he might _possibly_ have heard of it. In some relief, Hilda jotted down the directions and started on her way. 

The route involved a warren of backstreets. As she went along the roads became less and less well-cared for, the buildings grimier and the streetlights scarcer. But at least the rain eased off and she was able to put down her umbrella.

Just as the streetlights seemed to disappear completely and Hilda was thinking of turning back, she spotted the Fighting Cocks’ sign. 

“At last!”

She strode forward and entered the pub. 

It was rather gloomy but seemed respectable enough. Hilda nodded in approval at what the clientele were wearing. Most of the men and women didn’t appear terribly well off but they were all wearing suits and long frocks. 

_Charmingly old-fashioned,_ thought Hilda. _Everything really does come round again!_

As it was still relatively early, the pub wasn’t terribly busy. And it was also fairly small. Hilda looked around but couldn’t spot Evadne.

“Corner table at the back on the left…”

Hilda craned her neck. 

“Aha!”

It was perfectly clear which table these directions had to refer to, but it was also clear that it was a strange gentleman who was sitting there at the table on his own.

“Evadne, where on _earth_ are you?” 

Hilda sighed. 

“Well, I might as well ask.” She raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps she’s been making new friends in the library...”

Hilda made her way across to the table. 

“Excuse me, sir..?” she said hesitantly.

The middle-aged gentleman looked up. “Yes?” He rose to his feet. “Can I be of assistance, madam?”

 _Wonderful manners,_ thought Hilda. She discreetly looked him over. He really was a most attractive chap. Beautifully turned out. Lovely moustache.

Hilda simpered a little. 

“I’m not sure if you can help me but I’m looking for my friend. We arranged to meet here at this table but…”

“Oh.”

The gentleman looked surprised. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I know your friend. In fact, I’m waiting here for a colleague. He should be along shortly and…”

He broke off and stared at Hilda. 

A smile spread slowly across his face.

“That is _astonishing.”_

The smile got wider.

“I would never have guessed. What a marvellous costume!”

“Oh.” Hilda glanced down at her new dress and looked up at him, taken aback but pleased. “Thank you.”

“And I would even swear you were six inches shorter.”

“Er…” Hilda felt somewhat confused. “Yes, I thought I’d go for the lower heels. Lot of walking today.” She smiled in bemusement. “Please don’t think me rude but have we met?”

The gentleman chuckled. “Oh, of course. I suppose we ought to be formally introduced.” 

“Yes…” Hilda was beginning to feel she was losing the thread somewhat. “Well, I’m Dame Hilda Bracket.”

The gentleman beamed. _“Dame Hilda!_ Oh, that’s perfect.”

“Thank you..?” Hilda smiled weakly. “And who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Dr. John H. Wa—” The gentleman paused. “Oh, should I also..?” He wrinkled his brow. “I mean, I’m Dr. _Wilson.”_

“Lovely to meet you, Doctor.” Hilda extended a hand and Dr. Wilson took it. “And what a coincidence. My friend’s a doctor too.” 

“Good heavens. Really? Really?” 

Hilda glanced at Dr. Wilson, wondering if she was being laughed at. But his smile seemed perfectly pleasant. 

He came and pulled out the other chair at the table. “Won’t you sit down, _madam?”_

Hilda frowned at the emphasis. 

“Maybe just for a moment,” she said. “To see if my friend turns up.”

She sat down, as Dr. Wilson pushed the chair in.

He went and sat down again himself, and leant forward, his manner suddenly more familiar.

“I have to say it’s a jolly good thing you’re finally here. Wiggins obtained some information.”

Hilda stared at her companion, taken aback by this abrupt change of subject.

“Er, did he..?” 

“Yes!” Dr. Wilson’s voice dropped. “He overheard that Murchison frequents this pub. Perhaps you'll be able to find out if he does indeed know more about Lady Elizabeth’s disappearance.”

Hilda suddenly felt a couple of pages had been turned over in this conversation when she wasn’t looking. “Lady Elizabeth’s disappearance..? Look, I’m not sure…”

But Dr. Wilson wasn’t listening. He was staring over her shoulder. 

“Ho— _Hilda._ He’s just come in! Wiggins’ information was correct!”

He looked at Hilda. 

“Are you going to speak to him? Try and draw him out?”

Uncertain about what was going on in general, Hilda was at least sure on this point. 

“Good heavens, no. If he’s responsible for kidnapping a woman, that doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Of course.” Dr. Wilson nodded vigorously. “You don’t want to risk putting him on the alert until you’ve worked out where she is.”

Hilda shook her head, trying to clear it. “Look, shouldn’t we tell the police?”

“Oh, you needn’t worry on that account,” said Dr. Wilson. “Young Hopkins knows what’s going on.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” said Hilda faintly. She half rose. Perhaps it would be best to leave and make her way back to Queens of the Theatre before things got even stranger.

“No!” whispered Dr. Wilson urgently. 

Hilda automatically sat down again.

“He’s looking in our direction!” said Dr. Wilson. He abruptly relaxed. “It’s fine now—he’s gone to the bar.”

Hilda turned slightly and looked over at the mysterious man. Something about him caught her attention and she stared.

“Oh, my—”

She turned back to Dr. Wilson, her eyes wide.

“That scarf he’s got stuffed into his coat pocket…”

“His scarf?” Dr. Wilson glanced briefly at Murchison and back to Hilda.

“It’s not his scarf!” whispered Hilda.

“You mean it’s a clue?” Dr. Wilson’s eyes gleamed. “Does it belong to one of his associates? The stocky, sandy-haired one who works as a picture-framer? The tall, red-haired one who works as a groom?”

“No,” said Hilda, going pale. “It belongs to a woman. 5’ 10’’, going grey, a professional musician and a part-time amateur herbalist!”

Dr. Wilson looked at her with admiration. “That is astounding. You can tell all that from a scarf?”

“From that particular scarf I can.” Hilda clenched her fists. “And that man’s a kidnapper! I’ll never forgive myself if anything’s happened to her.”

Hilda got to her feet and Dr. Wilson rose too.

“We must go to the police at once!” whispered Hilda.

“Well, I defer to your opinion, of course,” Dr. Wilson whispered back. “But shouldn’t we trail him? See where he’s keeping her?”

“Yes!” Hilda looked wildly over her shoulder at Murchison and then back to Dr. Wilson. She pulled herself together. “Yes, you’re right, of course. Every moment is of the essence.” 

Dr. Wilson stiffened and laid a hand on Hilda’s arm.

“Murchison is leaving. He’d only been getting a tankard filled up with beer to take away again.”

He offered his arm to Hilda, who stared at it.

Dr. Wilson looked uncertain. “I thought it would make us look like a couple—less suspicious.” 

“Oh! Yes, of course,” said Hilda.

She took his arm, and together they made their way to the exit of the pub—Hilda willing herself all the way not to rush and give the game away.

Once outside they paused and unlinked their arms.

“There!” whispered Dr. Wilson urgently.

Hilda turned and spotted Murchison not far ahead, just to their left. He moved into one of the side streets.

Hilda and Dr. Wilson looked at each other, and silently followed after—Hilda taking the lead.

The side street turned out to be pretty dim.

“Perhaps we’d better hold hands,” whispered Dr. Wilson. 

In the gloom, Hilda’s eyebrows rose to an all-time high. 

“Still, in for a penny…” 

And clutching her umbrella in one hand and a strange man in the other, she made her way down the streets and alleys after Murchison.

 

 

Murchison eventually stopped at a door in a high wall that presumably led into a backyard. And after a brief pause he made his way through.

In a doorway a short distance away, Hilda and Dr. Wilson watched for a few minutes until Murchison came out again. He then luckily continued on his way, instead of retracing his steps towards them.

“Come on!” whispered Hilda.

They approached the door and Hilda tried it.

“Padlocked!” 

“We’ll have to go over the top,” said Dr. Wilson. “I’ll give you a leg up.”

He crouched down and put his hands together to make a step.

Hilda hesitated. 

But then she thought of Evadne.

“Well, I suppose needs must…”

She put down her umbrella and stepped on Dr. Wilson’s linked hands. He hoisted her upwards, and she grabbed at the top of the wall.

“Don’t look up my skirt, will you!”

She heard a huff of laughter behind her. 

“I promise to be the perfect gentleman!” 

Hilda hauled herself over the wall and lowered herself to the ground. 

“Here’s your weapon!” called Dr. Wilson’s voice.

“My weap—?” 

The umbrella was thrown over the top of the wall and Hilda automatically caught it. Then she managed to rearrange her clothes into a more dignified configuration before Dr. Wilson arrived over the wall too.

“All well?” whispered Dr. Wilson.

Hilda nodded, and they hurried as silently as possible across the small backyard and towards the back door of the house.

Hilda tried the door.

“This is locked too!” 

“Don’t you have your lockpicks with you?” whispered Dr. Wilson.

Hilda turned and gave him a very long look.

“No,” she said eventually, “I’m afraid I don’t.” 

She put her hand up to her elegantly coiffed hair.

“But what I do have is a hairpin and many years experience of having to get back into digs after curfew.”

She pushed the pin into the lock and fiddled about until she heard a click.

“There we go…”

She smiled at Dr. Wilson, who grinned back.

Hilda gently opened the door and led the way into a tiny kitchen. 

She looked cautiously about.

“Right then, I suppose we should search the house from top to bottom.”

“Should I start from the attic, and you from the ground floor?” said Dr. Wilson.

Hilda hesitated. “No, I think it would be best if we stayed together. We can’t be sure whether that wretched man is coming straight back or not.” 

Dr. Wilson nodded. “Quite right.”

They began their search. 

Together they made a thorough examination of the cellar and the rooms on the ground floor. Then they went up to the first floor and so onto the attic.

“Hush!” 

Hilda abruptly put a hand on Dr. Wilson’s arm.

“I can hear someone moving about! Just a little.”

They both stood stock still and listened.

“Yes!” Dr. Wilson’s eyes were wide. “I heard it too…”

They approached the attic door and Hilda wielded her hairpin once again. Then taking a deep breath, she carefully opened the door.

“Oh, Hilda!”

“Evadne!” Hilda rushed across to where her friend was standing tied by the ankle to a heavy wooden table. On the table was a fairly unappetising looking meal of beer and mouldy bread. “We’ve come to rescue you, dear. Me and this gentleman.”

“Thank heavens!” Evadne shook her head in bewilderment. “I have no idea what is going on, Hilda. I was almost at the library when I was grabbed by a ruffian. And he keeps insisting that I’m Lady Elizabeth Standwick and that he’s going to keep me locked up until I agree to marry him and hand over my fortune!”

“Are you sure you don’t want to consider it, dear?” said Hilda. She set her umbrella on the table and crouched down to examine the knot of the rope. “It may be your best offer.”

“Hilda!” said Evadne.

Hilda smiled weakly. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s the stress talking—I was so worried about you.”

Dr. Wilson was frowning. “You mean to say that you’re _not_ Lady Elizabeth?”

Evadne gave him a weak smile. “Afraid not.” 

Dr. Wilson looked at Hilda puzzled. “So who is this lady..?”

But he was interrupted by Murchison abruptly bursting into the room. 

Hilda leapt to her feet.

“Looks like it’s a good job I came back when I did!” sneered Murchison.

He stared at Evadne and approached her slowly.

“You’re truly not Lady Elizabeth then?”

Evadne stood her ground and looked him in the eye, though she was quivering a little.

“I did say, did I not?”

Murchison grinned nastily.

“Well, then. Looks like you’re no use to me after all.”

Murchison glanced from Hilda to Dr. Wilson. 

“And it wouldn’t do to have any witnesses…”

He pulled out a pistol. 

Hilda stared at it in horror, and Evadne gave a little cry. 

Hilda glanced at her, and then at the table Evadne was still tied to. 

Her eyes widened and she smiled. 

Murchison’s attention was on Dr. Wilson however. “Best get rid of you first I think, mate.”

He raised the gun.

And Hilda grabbed her umbrella off the table, swung it and struck Murchison hard below the belt.

_“Aaaaargh!”_

Murchison doubled up in pain and his gun went off. 

Thankfully though the bullet went well wide of Dr. Wilson—who rushed to subdue Murchison by grabbing both his arms and holding them behind his back. 

Dr. Wilson looked up at Hilda and beamed. 

“Excellent stuff. I always knew you’d save the day!” 

Hilda smiled coyly and gave a little curtsey.

Evadne rolled her eyes. 

 

 

Hilda managed to locate a sharp knife in the kitchen to cut Evadne free, and then Dr. Wilson used the rope to secure Murchison’s hands and feet. After that, they all made their way downstairs, Murchison sullen and having to be dragged by Dr. Wilson and Hilda.

This time they used the front door and exited out onto the main street. 

“I’ll deal with this scoundrel,” said Dr. Wilson. “I’ll get a cab and take him to the police station.” 

He indicated Evadne. 

“Perhaps you should escort this lady home. She’s had a nasty shock. And it probably would be best if you didn’t go to the station dressed in that attire.” 

He smiled. 

“We don’t want to startle Inspector Hopkins.” 

Hilda looked down at her frock and glanced across at Evadne. 

Evadne gave a tiny shrug. 

“To be honest, I think that’s one of your more understated choices, dear,” she whispered. 

Hilda looked over at Dr. Wilson. “Well, thank you for all your help, dear.”

Dr. Wilson smiled. “You know that it is always a honour to assist you.”

“Thank you…” Hilda gave him a genuine if confused smile in return. “If you need us, for giving statements and what have you—we’ll be at the Queens of the Theatre club.” 

Dr. Wilson shook his head. “Astonishing. Astonishing! You were able to deduce the lady’s identity and now you’re able to immediately deduce her place of residence. I must confess how you do it is beyond me.”

“Yes…” Hilda gave him a _very_ bewildered look. “Well, we’ll see you again, Doctor.”

She turned to Evadne. 

“Come on, dear.” 

She took Evadne’s arm and the two of them started on their way. 

They had only gone some yards when they heard a shout.

“Watson!”

Hilda and Evadne glanced back to see a tall, lean, dark-haired man hurrying towards Dr. Wilson. 

“Watson!” he called again. “Where have you been? Lady Elizabeth has been found safe and well. I deduced she had gone into hiding with a friend.”

Dr. Wilson was staring at the dark-haired man in apparent bemusement. He glanced towards the two ladies and then back at the new arrival.

“Holmes..? Then who..?”

Hilda and Evadne turned away and carried on.

“Must be one of the plainclothes policemen I suppose,” said Hilda. “You’d think he’d make more of an effort to get Dr. Wilson’s name right.” 

She patted Evadne on the arm with her free hand.

“Now, dear. Let’s get you back to the club and we’ll have a nice, hot cup of tea and a slice of cake.”

Evadne snorted. “Forget tea and cake! I’m having a large whisky!”

She gave a quick glance over her shoulder and then looked back at her friend.

“Hilda,” she said. “Have you noticed how very odd things keep happening each time we come up to London?”

Hilda nodded. “Oh, I know…” 

She giggled.

“Isn’t it wonderful?”


End file.
